Separation Anxiety: Day 11 of Slinky with Misha May

I was thinking about Slinky being visited and then being left by her mom at the CPR class yesterday and the anxiety she experienced at the separation. It reminded me of when I taught kindergarten in the 70’s and 80’s in the United States, and in Greece to an international student body. None of these populations was attending pre-school at the time, which made the kindergarten year the first that they were leaving home and being separated from mom. Since those in Greece were living in a foreign country with a foreign language and customs, some having fled from dangerous or conflicted situations, there were additional contributing factors for separation anxiety.

A minority of children were so excited to be attending school that they immediately engaged with the stimulating environment and never looked back. Some of those moms may have been disappointed and thought their kids loved them less but that was not the case. They were most likely hard-wired and parentally prepared to handle social interactions and unfamiliar situations well.

Most children had mixed experiences. They were eager to explore, curious about the school, and yet not completely ready to handle an entire day away from the familiar. Kindergartens which offered initial half days seemed to be more successful. Kids were allowed to gently leave home at a rate more suitable to their age and social skills. After a week or so the children began to attend all day and seemed to blossom. They felt confident and had definitely benefited from the more acceptable transition.

Sadly, in each class, there were one or two kids who were desperate not to separate from mom. They clung and cried and screamed. They were frantic and panicked. It was heartbreaking to watch. My job was to help them transition as easily as possible and to at the same time not allow the more sensitive kids who were holding it together to deteriorate as well. When one kid expresses this anxiety, it can easily become contagious to many in the class.

Typically, my solution was to begin singing with the class while holding the sobbing children on my lap. It generally worked for a number of reasons. The kids who were crying began to be distracted and curious. They could sense that I cared and wasn’t abandoning them, and they could see that the other kids were starting to have fun. The more secure children were thrilled that kindergarten was truly going to have something to offer them right away.

I will never forget one Lebanese girl who clung to her mom in the Athens school. I couldn’t understand what she was saying but it was evident that she was completely panicked about being left. I could imagine what she had already seen and experienced in her brief five years of life. Both her sensitive nature and her life experiences had created a nervous system more likely to panic than remain calm in frightening or unfamiliar situations. The mom continued to be completely loving but clear that school would be attended. She calmed down as her mom supported her to see the other kids, bright classroom and singing teacher. She functioned well from that day forward, although each morning for a week or so she tried to leave with mom. There was less intensity and she was easily redirected. She bonded with me and the class and became eager to attend school. Not only was this part of her day becoming more and more enjoyable, but mom showed up every day at the same time and took her home. She was always a little shy and reticent, but lovely and smart and well-liked. Her personality did not change but her ability to cope was strengthened by the combined support of a loving home and stable classroom.

There are many parallels in both the behavior and treatment of humans and canines regarding separation anxiety. It is healing to create an environment with as little stress as possible. If any stimulus triggers a reaction, then anxiety reduction techniques should be utilized. For humans, age appropriate verbal responses and explanations can help. For canines, a soothing ‘that’s good’ when they are calm will support that behavior rather than the whining. Reiki, Rescue Remedy and massage can help lower anxiety for both species in the midst of the situation. So can a number of distractions like singing, movement, and play. Long term treatment for both includes similar affirmations of safety and security when alone and communication that abandonment is not an option. Each can change over time with a patient confidence building, anxiety assuaging program.

Just as I was concerned that the relaxed kindergarteners might have their anxiety triggered by those kids who were strongly affected, so this type of anxiety can spread with human adults. When I was a school counselor, we addressed the teaching staff before the children in emergency situations so that they could help us create an atmosphere of stability rather than succumb to their own fear and anxiety. I remember one morning when a child was suddenly and tragically killed by a car in the crosswalk in front of the school. The initial work was counseling adults who might have trouble functioning. Then we made the rounds of the classrooms to help the kids process their reactions and emotions.

Anxiety is also contagious in shelter situations. There have been studies that demonstrate how to maintain peace and calm for the dogs which include providing bedding, privacy and stimulation, such as a toy to play with or a bone to gnaw on. Human interaction is also crucial to meet their social needs. Their anxiety is why many humans find it difficult to even visit a shelter much less spend time there volunteering. Our witnessing of these tragic circumstances that feel beyond our control are even more traumatic for the incarcerated animals.

I’ve often wondered why euthanasia was performed in the same building as where the dogs are housed. It seems unduly cruel to force an animal with such an amazing sense of smell to live where he knows what is happening to his fellow creatures, and with the potential of it happening to him. No wonder many animals in shelters seem frantic – they aren’t stupid – they can smell what is going on.

About the worst thing an adopter can do is take that dog back to the shelter for any reason, even if seems like a good idea to you. They can still smell what is going on. When I volunteered as a trainer / behaviorist at a local kill shelter, I remember the worst behaved / most anxious dogs in the public classes were the ones who had been adopted from there. That made perfect sense to me.

Given the anxiety levels in some shelters, I am surprised that there aren’t more cases of generalized anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and separation anxiety, but dogs are amazingly resilient.

Back to Slinky, rescued after stays in two shelters….you have to ask yourself why such a cute young dog waited in two shelters and wasn’t adopted. Sometimes great dogs just get passed over. It is very sad.

I gave Slinky her breakfast today in the medium sized wire crate in the office, with Twinkle in the large crate and Shadow in his small plastic one. Valentino had the whole living room to himself. Slinky focused on the meal and ate with great appetite finishing every bite of kibble. Both back feet were outside of the crate as her bowl was near the edge, but she was a focused relaxed diner. I was sitting at the computer typing and noticed that instead of dancing she ate steadily.

Dinner happened in the same way. She is having numerous positive associations with the crates.

Three volunteers, Doug, Ann and Ann, were here for the afternoon to prepare the baskets for our Live Auction at A Moment for Mutts at the Golden Hotel on November 14th. You can see the results and the wonderful sponsors, donors and vendors on a special page at our website www.mishamayfoundation.org. Slinky enjoyed all of the attention and activity. She was so comfortable that she kept leaping from the couch to the table to be involved more closely. We, of course, took her off each time and then finally put her behind a gate. I was happy to see her so relaxed and having fun with yet more new people.

Slinky also continues to do well with dogs. She has been in my yard when dogs go by on walks. With very little help from me ‘oh it’s a pup!’ she is quiet and curious - very civilized behavior. I remember the first time she was in my driveway and the neighbor dog went by. She reacted and barked, but not anymore. The little Pomeranian neighbor has actually grown into a wonderfully polite and sweet dog. He gets walked often and you can tell he is very loved.

Separation Anxiety: Day 10 Slinky with Misha May Foundation

This was the day to ‘fall back’ the clocks. Of course the dogs don’t notice that – until meal times. For us humans, it is only 4:00 but for them it is already 5:00. I actually never change my clocks so that I operate between the two time designations. It does sometimes shock people when they glance at the clock and realize they are late! I also continue to ‘save an hour’ and that makes me really happy each time I check a clock.

I was registered to attend the CPR and First Aid for Canines class designed and instructed by Westminster firefighter Eric Roth between 9am and noon at Doggie Pause Dog Daycare in Englewood. I was asked by Jennifer Brauns of Mile High Dog magazine to write a story for the December issue about the class to encourage pet parents and professionals to become educated in CPR and other techniques that could help stabilize their dog until veterinary care became available. The next class will be held at the same location on Sunday, January 29th from 9am – noon. To register (cost is $50 half of which is donated to Misha May Foundation) go to http://www.mishamayfoundation.org/ and use the make a donation button.

Slinky was having a good time and enjoying the attention from friendly people as we helped set up and the class began. She was supposed to be the only dog and my plan was to allow her to roam so that when her mom came and left she would be distracted and not feel anxious. However, another dog Sunshine attended and so Slinky was limited in her wanderings so that the class would not be disturbed.

As an interesting side note, Slinky has only gone to the bathroom once on a leash. Many dogs who have not had that experience don’t realize that it would be okay, even preferable if they are away from home for hours. Slinky did not go to the bathroom until she returned back to my yard.

Slinky’s mom Gina attended a portion of the class in order to work with Slinky. I wanted to help Slinky see that her mom could show up anywhere and thus break down her belief that when her mom is gone she will return in a certain way to a certain place at a certain time. The harder it is for Slinky to track the patterns, the less likely she will hold onto cues that trigger her anxiety.

While Gina was there she moved around the room from time to time away from Slinky. Slinky watched her but stayed relaxed. When Gina was in her seat nearby Slinky, Slinky would even leave and explore and solicit attention from others. Slinky is a very social dog who knows how to get what she wants most of the time.

After Gina left, however, Slinky whined quite a bit for the rest of the class. I was surprised by that behavior. It helped me realize that distraction is not enough. There needs to be distraction that moves Slinky away. She feels better if she is the one leaving, not the one left. So as not to give attention to her whining, but also to avoid disturbing class, several of us took turns taking Slinky outside in the play yard and administering anxiety reducing options such as Rescue Remedy, massage, ear massage and Tellington Touch. I must say that the results were not as good as I would have liked. Fortunately she did not have a panic attack or become intense but there was continuing whining. Not even her dinosaur chew or bully stick held her attention for long.

She was okay with not having mom around, but the act of her leaving triggered her anxious response. It makes me think that something bad happened to her when the person she trusted left her. Was it when they dropped her at the shelter and she became frightened? Did the person she trusted most leave her with someone who was cruel to her, or just alone and unable to get what she needed? Was she taken away from her mom before 8 weeks and perhaps has never felt secure?

We won’t ever know the answer but tracking her responses carefully, helps me design the next steps for her treatment. If she had been panicked, for example, I would have left and ridden her around until she calmed down. But her level of anxiety seemed mild enough to allow her to experience that she was safe and surrounded by loving people. It was not a setback as she didn’t have any lingering negative effects.

When class ended and we were cleaning up, she seemed to have recovered fully. She was distracted by Sunshine and the activity. She was calm and quiet then and for the ride to my house. She had no trouble the rest of the evening and settled into her routine with the other dogs. I was satisfied that she had had a stretching experience that supported her safety and security in her world.

Here are two photos of Sunshine and Slinky:

Interestingly enough, the last time the class was offered, I had Kabul with me. He also had separation anxiety and was in treatment with Misha May. He loved the class and was featured in many videos as the model dog. Here is a link to one of them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6ncu3UZess